Forgive (Matthew 6:12)

It is impossible to live in this world without being hurt, offended and wronged by people. Very often, our instinct when hurt is to respond with resentment and vengeance. There are also times when we deal with hurt by condoning, excusing, forgetting, pardoning and reconciliation – However, which of these actions is forgiveness? It is not difficult to see the extreme polysemy (multiple meanings) that we associated with the word forgiveness.

Knowing what forgiveness is from a biblical perspective and how to respond in situations of hurt is one of the basics of Christian life.

Biblical forgiveness does not mean that we ignore harmful situations and people and put ourselves back into harm’s way. It also does not mean we unconditionally accept or approve of a person’s continued wrong behaviour. Trust is not implicit in biblical forgiveness, nor is forgetting an offence obligatory. “Forgive and forget” is not a Biblical quote! There are three decisive words that Jesus uses when talking about forgiveness – Rebuke, Repent and Forgive, Jesus said if a person hurts you, you must rebuke the offender and if there is repentance, you must forgive (Luke 17:3-4). Jesus is clearer about repentance as the necessary condition of forgiveness. The condition of “if they repent” follows the imperative to “rebuke them” a statement with parallels in Matthew 18:15, i.e. “show him his fault.” More broadly, the claim that forgiveness requires repentance fits with the biblical idea of salvation (2 Chronicles 7:14, 1 John 1:9, Proverbs 28:13, 2 Peter 3:9, Matthew 4:17, James 4:8 and many others).

God also insists on us being able to forgive those who hurt us. He tells us that He will not hear our prayers and forgive us if we are unforgiveness toward others (Matthew 6:14–15). Ideally, the one who has harmed us would repent for what they’ve done. But how do we forgive someone who has not repented and asked for forgiveness?

When we are unable to forgive, we become prisoners of bitterness, unforgiveness, and anger.
Healing in such circumstances has to be independent of the offender, repenting and asking for forgiveness. Healing in such situations also comes through forgiveness, but this forgiveness is between God and us and does not need to involve in-person the one who offended us. This kind of forgiveness doesn’t diminish justice; it simply entrusts it to God, setting you free. You are no longer a prisoner carrying a miserable load of bitterness, unforgiveness, and anger. It calls for us to renounce revenge and entrust our cause to God and then do good for evil. That’s our part of forgiveness, which we must do whether the adversary admits wrong or not.

The other part to the forgiveness we place in God’s hands. We have to be wary and aware of people who cause hurt; however, we are not to hate and resent them. God knows how to settle our disputes much better than we do. We must simply hand over our bitterness, unforgiveness, and anger to God without including any caveats such as “unless,” “if,” or “but” and ask God to deal with our offenders through his perfect justice. We don’t have to administer “justice” we can leave that to God because he has promised us to avenge and repay (Romans 12:19).

Because I’m guilty too

These weeks leading up to Easter, let’s take time to ponder over our heavenly Father’s generosity when it comes to his forgiveness of our offences. The more we recognise and understand God’s radical gift of mercy and forgiveness towards us, the easier will it become for us to forgive those who have offended us.

Is there anyone you need to forgive — someone in your family, in your neighbourhood, or perhaps in your church? It could be a former colleague, an old friend or even a sibling that you feel has wronged you and you cannot forgive them. Forgiving can sometimes seem like an insurmountably difficult thing to do. Yet, the Bible is crystal clear on the necessity of it. God wants us to forgive. That is why when Jesus taught us to pray, he included the words “forgive us as we forgive others” (Matthew 6:12). Forgiveness as the Bible describes it is not given because a person deserves to be forgiven. Instead, it is an act of love, regardless of our hurt and feelings. We forgive others when we let go of resentment and give up our claim to be compensated for the hurt, we have suffered. Forgiveness is a trait of a true Christian. So, my dear friend, forgive and let go.